It is making me think about what Christmas is really about. So many of those traditions that I equate with the Holidays are just not here. Yes, we try here. Santa in a canoe or on a surfboard and all that. But mostly it just seems out of place. I've realized that lights are nice, but aren't they meant to be seen through the window of my car, while the kids complain about not being able to de-fog the windows enough to see them? Or huddled in coats and scarves while I see my breath as well as hear the narration to the Nativity on Temple Square? And sipping hot chocolate here - gross! What does it all mean?
How do we really focus on the message of Christmas, the message of Christ? In the end, it really is up to me. It is how I spend my time, and the choices I make to serve and love those around me or not. It is the time I spend with my scriptures and on my knees. Or not. That's it. It's me. And I am me so the real essential message of Christmas isn't going anywhere. It's here. Or not. My choice.
I am here with my family, and I love them. We have family here as well, and dear friends that include us as if we were family. I go on jogs in different parts of the city and I marvel at the natural beauty that surrounds me every day. The breeze, the flowers, the friendliness of people. I love that there are so many different churches and sanctuaries here in every culture you can imagine, and I love that they are well-kept, with manicured grounds like our temples. It brings me peace to know that religion and culture is important here, and I would like to learn more about the world that surrounds me. There are still stinky cars and dilapidated buildings and rusty worn fences, but sometimes the stark difference of the man-made stuff helps me to SEE the other more brightly.
Being here at this time of year causes me to ask myself questions such as: What is my culture? Where do I fit here? How do I belong here? Will my children find a way to belong here? How will that be done?
But there is always my "to-do" list and that hasn't changed much. Laundry (ok - that's WAY different - no dryer means we hang everything outside on the covered lanai and just so you know, when it's 85% humidity, it never truly gets dry=), grocery shop, try to get a JAMES to do homework since he's getting letter grades now, clean house, put gas in car, take kids here and there, plan lessons for primary, etc. For the FIRST time since I had Isaac, I just started having three hours a day to myself. It is strange. And wonderful. And a little sad, but just a teensy bit.
I have dreams to chase! I have hours and hours of videos and voice lessons to listen to as part of my training to be a better voice teacher. I have loads and loads of cleaning to still do in this house. And we still have a lot to figure out about this house, how long we will live here, etc, and that affects so many other decisions like where our kids will go to school next year. It seems like a bit of a holding pattern but also a blessing of time that comes with a huge responsibility for us to BE PREPARED for the next step. To quote from a talk I listened to recently - Come what may and LOVE it!
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