A Poem

Found on an American Greetings card my dad sent me:

ALL ABOUT FARTS

A fart can be quiet,
a fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful
poisonous cloud...

A fart can be short,
or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
to sound just like a song...

A fart can create a most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
or silent but deadly...

A fart might not smell,
while others are vile,
a fart may pass quickly,
or linger awhile...

A fart can occur
in a number of places,
And leave everyone
with strange looks on their faces...

From wide-open prairie,
to small elevators,
a fart will find all of us
sooner or later...

But not all farts are bad,
this is simply not true-
we mustn't forget...

Dear,
sweet,
old farts
like you.

Happy Birthday, son!"

Don't fit

So, yesterday on the way to Gramma and Grampa O'Neal's house, James and I were getting into a little back and forth, "no I'm not!" "Yes, you are!" "No, I'm NOT!" "Yes you are!"

James pulls this out:

J: "Dad, you're a LEGO."

Me: "What? Why am I a LEGO?"

J: "'Cuz you don't fit!"

Hmmm...

Out of the mouths of babes...

And no, Isaac didn't teach him that one...

Snowman

James, upon seeing the first snowfall of the year, was standing just outside our front door letting the snow fall on his head.

Dad, dressed in shorts and t-shirt, yelled at him to shut the door.

Says Dad, exasperated, "What were you doing out there?"

Responds James, "I was trying to make a snowman."